Don’t you find that loving yourself is one of the hardest part of life? I personally just barely started accepting myself the way i am and i’m 30 years old, turning 31 in a month…
Throughout most of my teenage years and young adult life, i’ve been struggling with very low self confidence and it has sadly lead me to do, say and think things that the real me would never have done, said or thought. I pretended to like and dislike things i didn’t, pretended to have the same opinions and habits as other, and basically changed a lot of who i was, depending on who i was with at the time. Sometimes it actually feel like i’ve lived 5 or 6 different lives over these years and it’s a bit overwhelming… But i guess growing older and a bit wiser, i finally realized that pretending to be someone you’re not or pretending to like something you don’t, is one of the many ways to be deeply unhappy.
On that front, the year 2016 has been one of the worst years of my life. I suffered with major anxiety and panic attacks and was generally very unhappy. It was only when i hit rock bottom and started to think about all the things that were making me so miserable, that i decided that it was enough.
I then simply made the decision to be HAPPY, and to be ME. I stopped pretending and caring about what other people think, and i also decided to dedicate my time and energy to doing things that make me happy. I think i was actually the key moment for me, when i finally started accepting myself. Because in order to do what makes you happy, you have to embrace what you like and dislike, and therefor, who you truly are.
Now don’t get wrong though, being yourself and being concern about your own happiness isn’t easy all the time, it’s a daily workout for me and it’s sometimes a struggle to be true to who you are and what you want, especially in our society, without hurting anybody else’s feeling. But no matter how hard it can be sometimes or what people may think, it’s important to always remember that life is short and that it’s ours and only ours. We don’t have another one if we waste this one by choosing other people’s happiness before our own.
The bottom line here is that i can honestly say that i’m at least 60% happier than i was last year at the same time and even though turning 31 is still making me a bit nervous, i’m slowly making my peace with it and actually looking forward discovering what the older and wiser me will discover and learn in the futur… to be continued right? 🙂